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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Knocked Up. Now What?

Being pregnant was everything it is cracked up to be and, oh, so much more. I was one of the lucky girls who was sick from the get go. As soon as the little bugger planted itself, I was hurling. In fact there was only two months in the middle, months four through six, maybe seven, that I wasn't physically ill.

I didn't have much for cravings the entire time we were pregnant because I was so sick. Somehow oranges and Dairy Queen made the cut though. I could pound through a bag of oranges like it was nobody's business and the Dairy Queen (remembers fondly), well let me say that my weekly, custom ordered Strawberry Cheesequake Blizzard with chocolate soft-serve and extra strawberries was orgasmic.

Outside of being ill, the pregnancy was normal. We had a scare at eleven weeks which involved some bleeding when a clot in the placenta let itself free, but, outside of that, it was hemorrhoids and puking all the way. Really. All kidding aside, I was still able to live life to the fullest which, by definition, excludes drugs and limits alcohol substantially. Boy, it sure is a good thing I kicked the nose candy habit before getting knocked up. Can't imagine morning sickness and withdrawals at the same time. Me? Drugs? Not. Not ever actually, but I could still indulge myself with sushi, cold cuts, and, on rare occasion, a small glass of wine. Sara and I could still go on our morning runs. I could garden, do laundry, mow the lawn, bathe the dogs. "You're pregnant, not ill. You don't have a disease, so please don't behave like you do," my doctor said. Bless his soul. Bless his soul!

So that's what we did. We lived normally or as normally as a couple of gay girls expecting a baby could live. This worked out well for us. I think being normal works out well for most people though. Huh? Get your head out of the damn clouds and come back to earth! It's not normal. It's not normal for two woman to be shacking up and starting a family. The physical pregnant part, the I wanna buy cute baby stuff and nest part is normal, but everything else is soooo far beyond normal. There is a lot of legal bullshit that goes along with a couple of homos having a kid. To start, we learned that I would have to temporarily relinquish my rights to our daughter so that we could both adopt her. Welcome to America. Let me tell you more about that...

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